![]() She was at a gas station late at night when a car of eight guys in their 20s pulled up. Kaya Marchell, a 16-year-old sophomore and friend, shared a similar experience with me. As a woman, there is a vulnerability that makes these situations feel that much scarier. And they will never understand the feeling you get when a random man tells you to “use your head” when you parked exactly as he did. I realized they would never understand the things that I and other women have experienced: Grown men asking you to roll down your window so they can “see how pretty you are,” having to come up with ways to say no to a guy so he doesn’t get mad, or shading your face when you hear catcalling. I shared my experience when I got home and realized that for the men of my family it was hard for them to fathom. Was this how he would want his sisters or daughters or friends to be treated? I wanted to know if he felt his behavior was acceptable. I wanted to stick up for myself, I wanted to explain that if he had asked nicely I would have apologized and he could have gone home without screaming at a 16-year-old girl. Once I was far enough away I started to cry. “What the f*ck is wrong with you? Next time use your head.” He slapped the side of my car as I backed out, and a chill ran through me. I got in my car as fast as I could, but I could still hear him yelling. “Did you even f*cking think?” I stopped walking and stared at him. “I’ve been waiting here for 10 minutes,” he hollered.Ī blanket of fear coated my lips and tongue, paralyzing my voice.
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